Hygge, Anyone?
The ‘Festive Season’ is almost upon us. I wonder if you’ve been stocking up on Hygge gifts for family and friends. You know, the little things which contribute to “a quality of cosiness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being”, something apparently well understood and loved by all Scandinavians. [i] Let’s take a quick look at what’s on offer. A floor pillow decorated with six images of a relaxation cassette tape, a snip at just $55.55; or a Nordic summer night Galaxy S10 protective case for only $31.56. Candles are still very popular, and you could get a set of three Alabaster Stone Candleholders, each a different size, for $275, together with matching set of three Everyday pillar candles for $50. Hey, if you are shopping for you and your loved one, time to be a little more generous: you should consider buying two Gotland sheepskins, one white, one dark grey, for just $325 each. Better throw in a book, too: I’d suggest buying Meik Wiking’s The Little book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living, almost being given away at $19.99 (although there are many glossier alternatives from which to choose!). There’s a nice colouring book, and … ooh, I’ve just seen the Lush Decor Hygge Geo 3 Quilt Set for $230. That’s the one; this is going to be such a convivial winter.
Hygge is Danish (although the word comes from Norwegian), but I would guess cosiness and comfortable conviviality could be shortened to happiness among friends: achieving what the dictionary defines as good fortune, pleasure and contentment. Yet as I think about this, the desire for happiness sounds so American to me, as it recalls the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” We all want to be happy, don’t we?
What’s that I hear? What are you singing? Don’t care too much for money?
I’ll buy you a diamond ring, my friend
If it makes you feel all right
I’ll get you anything, my friend
If it makes you feel all right
‘Cause I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love
I’ll give you all I’ve got to give
If you say you love me, too
I may not have a lot to give
But what I’ve got I’ll give to you
I don’t care too much for money
Money can’t buy me love
Can’t buy me love
Everybody tells me so
Can’t buy me love
No, no, no, no [ii]
Oh, those Beatles. Such old-fashioned romantics. In the gender divided world 55 years ago, young men would say almost anything romantic to get the girl – especially as words are free!
No, no, no, the path to happiness is candles and sheepskins! Hygge shows the way! Despite their love of Hygge, oddly enough it appears many Scandinavians are rather puzzled by all this attention. Claiming their fame might be better identified with the high quality of life and social equality found in Denmark, Sweden and Norway, or, as I read, that they have supplied a third of the cast of Game of Thrones (that’s something to be proud of??), they’ve found the Hygge boom a rather weird experience. In the span of just a couple of years, the Danish people feel they’ve gone from “being a relatively unknown group of shy people from a tiny, cold, dark corner of the world to being hyper-visible and feeling like our culture is being fetishized”. [iii]
Fetishised? “Hygge was never a lifestyle, but it’s certainly marketed as one over here by people wishing to cash in on the Scandi-zeitgeist … weaponised in recent years in an effort to sell candles, socks, blankets. Hygge, to me, has never been something you could buy. What ends up on the shelves in your stores is barely recognisable to us. As a Dane, I’m dumbfounded. And I’m not the only one. I think what is happening is what happened with yoga and mindfulness. You can get $200 yoga pants, but that is not what yoga is about. You can get a ‘mindfulness plate’ – but what the hell is a mindfulness plate, I ask. In the same way you will get companies that try and ‘Hygge-wash’ their products . Hygge is increasingly in risk of being hijacked by commercial interests”[iv] Really, those Danes just don’t understand: like everything, it’s all about business.
Let’s face it, for those dedicated to happiness, there is bad news: buying Hygge is so yesterday. Hmm, wasn’t that another Beatles’ song, when my troubles seemed so far away?
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm [v]
Those Beatles. Such romantics. Dreaming of a simpler, impossibly non-commercial past.
Yes, it’s time for a reality check. Today the path to happiness is different. This year we want total mobile independence through intelligent digital devices. Sustainability is also ‘big’. What do we need today to be happy? A wireless phone charger for $65; a self-rolling (?) smart yoga mat for $89.95; or a Nintendo switch ring fit adventure kit ($80)? Just a minute, how have you survived without the latest Apple watch, accompanied by an Echo with Alexa and an Echo Show ($610 the lot)? Something more personal? Some fur-lined boots (office style, $110), a portable JBL Xtreme Bluetooth speaker ($350), and, yes, a Hydro Flask, a 10 oz wine tumbler in stainless steel, vacuum insulated with a press-in lid ($30). It’s not digital but just the thing for wine, anytime, anywhere, to accompany you while your feet are warm listening to music on the go. That pair of Saint Laurent metal straws would suit the flask, so sustainable (at just $235), and you could put most of what you’ve bought in a Hereu + Net Sustain Trena mini woven leather and organic cotton shoulder bag: so ‘green’ and only $240 (alright, it’s actually brown in colour)?
Happiness is about money and buying things, and the Beatles eventually got that right:
The best things in life are free
But you can keep them for the birds and bees
Now give me money
That’s what I want
That’s what I want, yeah
That’s what I want
Your lovin’ gives me a thrill
But your lovin’ don’t pay my bills
Now give me money
That’s what I want
That’s what I want, yeah
That’s what I want [vi]
Those Beatles. Such realists! Here in the US, you are constantly reminded happiness is about things. Fortunately, in a world of surveillance capitalism, you don’t have to worry about which things: careful analysis of your internet history will reveal what you want. “Happiness is in many ways the marketing breakthrough of the past decade, with self-care and anti-stress products now rounding out the bestseller list on Amazon (think of ‘gravity blankets’, ‘de-stressing’ adult colouring books and fidget spinners), where they nestle alongside chart-topping tomes by ‘happiness bloggers.’” Sustaining all this are some familiar worries: it’s key to keep up with the Jones, be in touch with the latest trends, and avoid the horror of missing out (FOMO = death!). Success is evading negativity your life, and never, ever, appearing unhappy in public. [vii]
How do we show this achievement? With social media. Instagram moments capture a smile and a scene: I was there, and it was great. Post adventures, meetings and moments on Facebook, to share with friends, you beaming as you show your latest purchase, demonstrating you bought the ‘right thing’. Happiness is a function of performance, maintaining that sunny disposition at all times. If ever you feel sad or disappointed, recognise such feelings are failure, and quickly move on, buy something else, and put your happy face back on. Happiness is work, and failure comes to those who don’t work hard enough at polishing the image they present to the world. Even a personal disaster can be tweaked to be newsworthy. Look, if you’re finding the task too hard, take some antidepressants (they’re being consumed at ever increasing levels), read one of the dozens of new self-help books published every month, and use a mentor or a coach to help you along the way. Failure, as they say, is not an option.
Has it always been seen this way? When Jefferson spoke about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in the Declaration of Independence, he wasn’t thinking about acquiring more things or recording memorable and ‘unique’ experiences, but rather a life lived with gratefulness. Happiness back then was about being content with life, free from debilitating mental or physical pain, enjoying family and friends, leading a good life.
As it turns out, that was what Hygge was describing. “Hygge is effortless comfort; it has no element of performance. It is absence of all pretence and worry. The word itself may defy direct translation, but you are very familiar with the concept – trust me. Had a nice dinner with a loved one in a cozy setting? Congratulations, you just had Hygge. Enjoying yourself relaxing with a good book? Hygge!” [viii] You don’t have to buy the candles or the sheepskin? Of course not. The Beatles had it right the first time.
To discover that Hygge was transformed into acquiring possessions and demonstating happiness reveals the business of lifestyles today. From the commercialisation of cosiness and comfortable conviviality, it’s only a small further step to today’s latest lunacy, the increasing emphasis being placed on achieving happiness through the pursuit and purchase of ‘peak experiences’. And it has a cultural dimension: “The fetish for pursuing happiness appears to be a peculiarly Anglo-American phenomenon, perhaps because there is such strong cultural pressure in both countries to downplay negative emotions. Compared with, say, the French, who are generally content to live outside of happiness – happiness being unsophisticated, not the marker of a life well lived – Brits and, most especially, Americans downplay negative emotions in favour of putting forth the happiest face possible. Americans are known for the fake smile and ‘I’m good, thanks!’ while Brits are renowned for avoiding conversational unpleasantness, and for maintaining a ‘stiff upper lip’ in the face of pain and disappointment. Denying and masking negative feelings, because they are socially and culturally unacceptable, is the norm. In the Anglo-American scheme of thinking, negative emotions are negatively reflective of us – as if we’ve made a fundamental mistake, lived without the gusto and positivity needed to achieve happiness.” [ix]
Businesses sell happiness, even as a way to motivate staff (based on the unclear, but often quoted Hawthorne effect). [x] Google has a ‘chief happiness officer’. When the American Psychological Association revised its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders it added “any bereaved person grieving longer than two months might be considered to have a mental illness requiring medical treatment, for example, antidepressants”.[xi] You must be happy!
As I see it, a ‘comfortable conviviality and a feeling of contentment’ goes from enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner with friends, reading a book on a rainy day, to savouring all of life with its ups and downs. When did happiness become a fashionable necessity? Do we really need all those smart devices to broadcast our peak experiences to family and friends, or, on less ecstatic days, experience other peoples’ achievements vicariously? No, we don’t. An examined life, a life worth living, accepts the good and the bad, and it even includes time for a little Hygge.
[i] https://www.countryliving.com/life/a41187/what-is-hygge-things-to-know-about-the-danish-lifestyle-trend/
[ii] Beatles, Can’t buy me love: Songwriters: Lennon/McCartney, lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
[iii] https://mashable.com/article/hygge-scandinavian-lifestyle-trend/
[iv] Ibid
[v] https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beatles/yesterday.html, lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
[vi] https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/beatles/moneythatswhatiwant.html
[vii] https://aeon.co/essays/how-did-being-happy-become-a-matter-of-relentless-competitive-work
[viii] Hygge Scandinavian Lifestyle Trend, op cit.
[ix] Aeon, op cit
[x] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3969247/
[xi] Ibid
